You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you. – Carter Chambers, as played by Morgan Freeman.
Every year I make a list of things to do that year. I refuse to call them resolutions because no one ever does those anyway. I am slightly OCD and organized in life (otherwise I procrastinate horribly) but it’s written on a list, I’ma friggin do it. It’s a weird little compulsion that I’ve harnessed as a way to Get Shit Done(TM). At some point, an enterprising young woman will figure this out and try to write “propose to me” on a piece of paper and slip it to me. Meh. Might be easier than doing it on my own. At any rate my equivalence of resolutions is a public list of all the stuff I want to get done for the year. This year’s was actually not half bad. I was going to link it in this post to give an example of my weird to-do list mentality when I realized- holy crap, I’ve accomplished most of my list already. The year is barely half over and I’ve got like 2.5 items out of 10 to go.
So what does this have to do with anything? Other than pointing out to all you slackers how much I’ve done so far, I was going to announce that I took my first stab at surfing today and could cross it off the list. That’s when I noticed- it wasn’t even on the damn list. I had put it off in the past because I thought I wasn’t in good enough shape or coordinated enough (newsflash, I’m still not!) but the idea was still kicking around in the back of my mind. “Must be a bucket list item or something”, I thought. Not that I maintain one, or even like the idea of one mind you, but I’ve been kicking around the idea of learning ever since a friend offered to teach me. While we’re on the subject, had anyone even heard of the phrase before the Jack Nicholson movie came out? I certainly hadn’t and now it’s a cemented into everyone’s vocabulary to the point you couldn’t get it out with an Urban Dictionary sized crowbar. I’ve come to the decision that I hate this damn phrase and everything it represents.
Because it makes people lazy, that’s why.
Life is about goals people. Wait, no, I take that back. Life is about having and accomplishing your goals. This “bucket list” bullshit encourages people to put their desires on a magical list and get to it before they die. It’s the ultimate New Year’s resolution / procrastinator bastard love child. It’s resolutions for lazy people- don’t worry about accomplishing them this year, you have your whole life. You don’t need that kind of pressure man!
F that. I got junk to do and no magical “eventually” wish list is going to make it happen for me. There is a list, it is short, it has an expiration date, and shit is getting done man. Each year’s list builds off the previous years. Bucket list. Whatever.
And yeah, I’m going surfing against next weekend. Probably every weekend from here on actually, until I can actually manage to stay upright on the board for longer than 0.2s. I will however be buying a rashguard because right now my chest looks like a slab of raw meat.
I really need to make better lists. 2010’s already needs more stuff on it.